Nightmare! the Musical: 'No More Mr Nice Guy'
by tranimation
Summary: Presenting NIGHTMARE! THE MUSICAL, Freddy Krueger goes into a rageful song-and-slaughter after losing custody of his daughter. Canonical [to the Englund franchise]: Horror/Parody: Complete. Rated M for violence and sexuality.


**"NO MORE MR. NICE GUY"**  
From **NIGHTMARE! THE MUSICAL**

Original song written by Alice Cooper (alicecooper.c0m), with additional lyrics by Diane N. Tran (tranimation)

* * *

I've been helping co-write my friend Abri Isgrig's (Lady Jekyll) story, _Innocent Demon_, which is a re-invention of life of Freddy Krueger before was "killed" by the parents of Springwood. As we're both lovers of musical theatre, it was she thought up a _Nightmare on Elm Street_ musical as a joke. I screamed, "That's awesome! I would pay to see this! We should totally do this!" So we knocked our heads together to make this a reality, based on the films (specifically _Dream Child_, _Freddy's Dead_, and intro to _Freddy vs. Jason_), the _Freddy's Nightmares _TV series, our own pastiches, and personal theories about the character. Robert Englund is such a ham that it's not that far off to see him randomly belt out in song; he had already done this for Fat Boys' "Are You Ready For Freddy?" rap video, if you recall.

Understand that I don't know anything about music composition, but I do know poetry and enough general knowledge about musicology to muddle my way through, learning more as I go, along with a handy-dandy rhyming dictionary at hand and a ton of patience. (For some reason, I had to re-upload this because FF was being a weird bastard.)

**Synopsis**: Presenting _Nightmare! the Musical_, Freddy Krueger goes into a rageful song-and-slaughter after losing custody of his daughter. Canonical (to the Englund franchise): Horror/Parody: Complete. Rated M for violence and sexuality.

_Nightmare on Elm Street_ © Wes Craven/New Line Cinema  
"No More Mr. Nice Guy" (original song) © Alice Cooper, with additional lyrics by Diane N. Tran

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**SONG TYPE**: Rock

**SCENE PLAYER(S)**:  
- Freddy Krueger, the murderer  
- Katherine Krueger, his six-year-old daughter  
- Child custody lawyer  
- Prepubescents (three to five)  
- Male chorus (offstage)

* * *

_Outside the federal courts,_ FREDDY KRUEGER _has gotten free from his murder trail due to a technicality. He should be pleased, but isn't because he looses custody of his six-year-old daughter,_ KATHERINE KRUEGER_, and after a tearful goodbye, she is taken away by a_ CHILD CUSTODY LAWYER supplied by the city. KATHERINE _hugs close a teddy bear, which has long stitches across its belly, a souvenir from a previous kill of his, which he begrudgingly gave to his daughter because she wanted it__._

_She drops the teddy bear accidentally before exiting offstage, but__ law__yer turns__ stops to pick up the teddy bear, notices the stitches, and throws the bear at the alleged Springwood Slasher._

**CHILD CUSTODY LAWYER** (_spoken spitefully_):  
Burn in hell, Krueger!

_Exit_ LAWYER. _Picking up the stuffed bear,_ FREDDY _silently contemplates his situation and concern that be may never see his daughter again, as he traces the stitches with his fingers. Spotlight on him, alone, a flood of emotions boil over within him._

**FREDDY **(_sung mournfully_):  
Oh, you always were such a sweet, sweet thing  
So young and free  
I stand here all helpless to see you stolen away  
My lil' princess-to-be  
Don't you believe what they say in those papers  
That you can't be seen ... with me  
And I'm gettin' real shot down  
And I'm ... feelin' mean

**FREDDY, CHORUS **(_sung violently_):  
I'm sayin', no more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
They say, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ne

_He throws the bear offstage in a fury; he puts on his hat and razor glove._

**FREDDY **(_spoken_):  
They don't know me very well  
I'm just a sweetheart

**FREDDY **(_sung_):  
Don't you believe what they say in those papers  
Now you can't be seen ... with me  
And I'm feelin' real shot down  
And I'm ... gettin' mean

**FREDDY, CHORUS**:  
Singin', no more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
They say, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ene

_He hungrily stalks to stage right where a small group of naughty PREPUBESCENTS, wearing school jerseys, with a basketball at their feet, as they ca__utiously light cigarettes, sip beer, and stare into the centerfold of a_ Playboy _magazine._

**FREDDY**:  
I wandered through the streets that night  
And somethin' caught my eye

**CHORUS**:  
Nice guy

**FREDDY**:  
Daddy snuck amongst the parks and playgrounds  
Blades wavin' high  
I hid behind incognito  
I arrived and rose ... the Springwood Slasher  
Tipped his hat and slashed 'em 'cross the nose

**FREDDY **(_spoken_):  
Laughin', no more ... nice guy!

**FREDDY, CHORUS**:  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
I say, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ne

Screamin', no more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
Baby, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ne  
E-e-e, e-e-e, e-e-e-ne

_He steals the cigarette from the lips of one of the disemboweled victims, takes a long drag, and exhales a heavy, heavenly sigh and cold chuckle._

**FREDDY **(_spoken_):  
How sweet — Fresh meat

_He undoes his pants and turns his back to audience, facing the dead children, as the stage goes dark._

**CHORUS **(_sung_):  
Nice guy, yeah!

_End scene._

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URL: favdotme/d22vpqp


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